Capturing Life and Chasing Zen

On the way to bring Cy to a sleepover, the sun was setting. And my girls both noticed the beauty. Cy said, "Mom, look. Do you have your camera?" I did. I parked the van and the girls couldn't get out fast enough. They know that every minute counts when you are trying to capture a sunset with your camera.  

This is what I captured. 

It's beautiful. I never tire of sunsets. 

While I was taking shots, my girls were taking their own. 

Seeing them trying to get sunset pictures with their phone cameras was better to me than the actual sunset.

I love that they noticed the sunset in the first place. And I love that they wanted to stop and savor it.

Sigh. :)

catching myself again

One day recently, I caught myself. Doing that thing that we all do. I was living in the future instead of the present.

It's very embarrassing, really...what I was doing. But I will share this with you, anyway. It is real, after all.

My grandmother (whom I love dearly & don't see very often) was talking to me. And I was thinking about the future. I was thinking about how I was missing playing board games outside with the rest of the family. I was thinking about where I had laid down my cup. I was thinking about what time it was and wondering what time we should get on the road to head home.  

And then...

I caught myself.

And I focused on her eyes and the way she made her facial expressions. And how she moved her beautiful hands which she doesn't like because they are wrinkled and have "liver spots" on them. And everything else faded away. I was in the present moment, listening to her. And my ego stopped telling me that I had more important or more fun things to do.

I was right where I needed to be.

fifth grade

 

 

 

 

I was so glad that I got to take pictures of her before I had to head to work. She picked out all of her accessories by herself.  :)

The whole way to work, I kept thinking about how it is so very true how quickly time passes.

eighth grade

   

 

 

 

 

I went outside with my scrubs on, wet hair and bare feet to get some shots of her before the bus came. I was a little worried that she would ask me not to. But, she didn't. I asked her if it was ok and she let me do my thing.  For that, I am grateful.

stay-cation lovin'

I've been on a stay-cation for the last week. It's been wonderful. I know the word wonderful sounds like a bit much, but it's how I feel. It's really been wonderful.

I've gotten so much done...so many unfinished projects. I also had some quality time with those I love, which I have really been starving for. I tried to soak up every minute of this stay-cation and I have done a pretty good job, if I do say so, myself.   

I love stay-cations.

 

 

So typical right now.

Devin is 13 and doing that thing where you pull away a bit and your friends are your world.

Cy is 10 and admires her older sister and wants to be like her (a little), but also, likes to aggravate her.

I am soaking it all in and loving every minute.  

the weekend

The weekend was lovely. Beautiful weather. So many things we could have done. I thought about taking the kids to the park. I thought about taking them to the bookstore. We didn't do either of those things.

On the way home Friday, I stopped on the side of the road and took some pictures. Of buttercups. And weeds. And later that evening, pictures of my girls, the sunset, my backyard swing, the horses in the pasture behind our house. I took all of these pictures with my phone. And it filled me right up. :) 

Friday night, we went to the home of some dear friends to celebrate. The celebration was for Cy's best friend, Lora. The reason? It was the anniversary of the day her adoption was finalized. Lora Day. What a great reason to celebrate! We were so honored to be invited.

Saturday, Cy sang in the Choir at the local Arts Awareness Festival.  We went to Walmart. We came home and there was plenty of laundry, etc. to tend to.

Sunday, glorious Sunday. I started the day sitting on my front steps with coffee in hand and my journal. I love the mornings like that when I can have some quiet time to write, think, pray, read and listen to the birds. Yes, the birds.

Later that day, I was in one of the bedrooms with the window open. I heard something outside and looked toward the azalea bush right by the window. There were two blue jays. I watched them for some time and loved every minute of it.

The best part about Sunday was that me & my Cy girlie went outside and sat at our backyard table in the sun and painted our toes the colors of Easter eggs. :)

We didn't do lots of things or go many places. I didn't get everything checked off of my TO DO list. But there was ZEN. There was present moment living and I was happy.

 

Dear Devin,

 

 

Dear Devin~

You recently had your 13th birthday. You are offically a teenager.

This makes me want to pull my hair out and scream. No, not really. But it does make me a little sad. The pulling away has started, the thing that all teenagers do. I did it, Dad did it, we all go through it. It's that place in your life where your friends become the center of the Universe and your parents get dumber by the minute.

You are now on the phone as much as you possibly can be.   I remember those days. My parents & my grandparents teased me about growing a phone out of my ear & told me that the phone would be stuck to my ear one day & I wouldn't be able to get it off. I'm laughing as I write this. Please tell me if I ever say those things to you. :)

You are a remarkable girl, Devin Nicole.

Dad & I are constantly amazed by your creativity, your unique style & your self-confidence. You are your own person, that is clear. No one can convince you to be otherwise. You are not one to give in to peer pressure. You don't seem to care what anyone thinks of your interests, the way you dress or your  ideas about things.  I hope you continue to to feel that way because it is an admirable quality. Be you. You do it so well!

Some facts about you at 13:

*You love Queen

* The Beatles are your favorite band

*You  love anime  and love to draw this way, too

* Being on the computer is one of yur favorite pastimes

*You like eating with chopsticks. But you will not eat sushi.

*When you really like something,  you say it's EPIC.

* And yes, the phone...well, I've mentioned that, already.  :)

Anyway, I'm not going to get all sappy about you being a teenager.  I've had my moments, though...don't think I haven't.  But this is where we are. You are a teenager. And Dad & I are parents to a teenager. And  we think she's pretty awesome epic. :)

Happy Birthday, Devin! We love you. :)

Love,

Momma

Dear Cy,

 

 

Dear Cy~

You are now 10. Ten. No more single digits.

When I think of you being 10, I get a strange feeling in my heart. It's not bad or anything. Just strange. I am trying to grasp the idea, really. I am still having difficulty believing it is real...that the baby of this family is...TEN.

Let me tell you about yourself at this age, Cy Olivia.

You are an amazing young lady. You are extremely thoughtful. That's the first quality that comes to mind when I think of you. The other day, I was lying on the sofa, not feeling well. You walked over and asked how I was doing, felt my forehead and offered to make me some soup. That's just one example, but that's the kind of thing you do all of the time.

You are funny and sweet and loving. I know that I can always count on a hug from you. And kisses, too. You often come up to me and give me a kiss on the cheek for no reason. How I love that.

One of my favorite things you do, lately is...

Before I go to bed, I usually get on the computer for a bit. I have been finding little word document messages from you saying...

I LOVE YOU, MOMMA!

                   or

GOOD NIGHT, MOMMA! Love, Cy

So, so thoughtful.  :)

You are a fantastic babysitter! You take such good care of your cousin, Emmie. You always look out for her, play with her, keep her entertained and out of harm's way. You are a very responsible girl and you take watching Emmie very seriously.

You are extremely creative. You draw entire wardrobes. And you design the best dresses. You also love to cook and bake. And you love to watch the Cooking channel. I think that's pretty awesome.  

Cy, you are so amazing. Dad & I are so grateful to have you in our lives. I know that you will continue to amaze us in the next year. 

Happy Birthday, baby.

We love you!

Momma

grandma's 90th - part 2

When my Grandma turned 90, I wasn't sure what to get her.

 The idea to write her a letter popped into my head, so that's what I did. I cried when I wrote it.

Here's a picture of her opening the letter. She started to read it, got teary-eyed and handed it to me to read to her.

I read it. But I started crying, too. We both needed a tissue when I was done.

 

Here is what the letter said:

 Dear Maw Maw,

 Here it is, your 90^th birthday. And I am scratching my head because I can’t believe it. Where did the time go?

I thought long & hard about what to get you for your birthday, but nothing seemed quite right. So, I decided to write you a “Thank You” letter, instead.

I want to thank you for so many wonderful memories...

Thank you all of the card games, rootbeer floats, hand holding & back rubbing.

Thank you for sitting outside on the swing with me while we watched the cars drive by & talked about school & friends & boys.

Thank you for letting me taste crème de menthe.

Thank you for letting me clean the school bus with Paw Paw & for making the best spaghetti I have ever had.

Thank you for all of the times I woke up to a big breakfast of eggs, toast, fruit & one of my all-time favorite things…coffee milk. Coffee milk always made me feel so grown up & began my love affair with coffee.

Thank you for introducing me to “green stuff”…as I liked to call it…that wonderful mixture of pears, green jello mix, cream cheese & Cool Whip. Somehow, it never tastes as good when I make it as when you do.

Thank you for snacks of animal crackers & milk and for letting me spin round & round on your barstools. Now, you let my kids do the same. Now that I am an adult, I wonder how we never drove you crazy with that.

Thank you for holding my hand while listening to me & squeezing it at just the right moments.

Thank you for lighting up when you see me…whether I am 5 or 40.

Most of all, thank you for helping me to see the value of hard work, reminding me to do the “right thing “… even when no one is looking & for teaching me, by example, that all of the material things society tells us are important, really aren’t.

On your 90th birthday, I want to say “Thank You” for all of this & to let you know that you are so deeply loved. I am so very grateful for your presence in my life.

Happy Birthday!