
This picture is pretty, yes? But wait…there’s more.
This picture represents something to me. It’s like a diary
entry. Yes, there are beautiful landscape
scenes that stir our souls. We capture sunrises, sunsets, beaches,
water…things that make us sigh from their beauty. But this picture…it does more
than make me sigh. It makes me remember.
Last year (May 2012), I was feeling so fearful about so many
things. I won’t go into detail, but I was hurting. I had a heavy heart. And I
pulled out a notebook and just spilled every worry, every fear out onto the
page. Oh, and I cried the “ugly cry.” I felt such relief.
After getting all of that out, I changed gears. I felt all
“Jerry Mcguire” and decided to write a mission statement. Yep, a mission
statement. Or really, just a letter to (insert drumroll)… “The Universe.” I was so determined, too. I wrote 2 pages on
how I was tired of being fearful and from now on, I was going to feel the fear
and DO IT, ANYWAY…whatever IT was. And I somehow determined that all I had to
do was keep shooting pictures every chance I got and I would be shown the next
step. Yep, that was it.
Shortly after that, I was invited to go on a boat to take
pictures. Um…what? This was not what I had in mind. I had been on boats in the
past and had bad experiences that made me FEARFUL.
No, no, no…I was not
doing it.
But then, I
remembered what I wrote a few short nights before. Ok, so I had to decide…keep
doing what I’ve been doing and get the same results? Or face the fear and do
it, anyway?
Anyway, the bottom line is…I went. And I’ve gone on a boat
several times since then. And I love it now. It makes me feel more alive…more
present.
Lots of changes have occurred in this last year since I
wrote that little letter to The Universe. I’ve faced quite a lot of fears. It
has not been easy. But I did it.
This picture was taken this past weekend. The first time
since my “feeling the fear and doing it, anyway” anniversary that I have been on
a boat to take pictures. And while I was pressing that shutter button, I was
remembering the woman I once was. And I was feeling grateful for the woman I am
now.
Yes…I am grateful.